Happy Parents Happy Kids
Jul 26, 2013 10:48AM
Renée Peterson Trudeau Explores Soulful ParentingThe oldest of seven Montessori-inspired children and mother of one, Renée Peterson Trudeau serves as a life balance coach, speaker and president of Career Strategists, a coaching and consulting firm. Thousands of women in 10 countries participate in Personal Renewal Groups based on her first book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. Now, in a new book, Nurturing the Soul of Your Family, Trudeau helps empower families to handle the challenges of everyday life with harmony and ease.
How can individuals achieve more peace? We realize peace by nurturing our hearts and souls with self-care, by slowing down and being gentle with ourselves. It requires us to attune and respond to our own needs and desires in the present moment. Am I responding with compassion when I make mistakes? Am I saying no when I need to say no? Did I ask for and receive help when I needed it? This is self-care in day-to-day life. When we feel nurtured in ways aligned with our deeper needs, we’re able to more fully express our potential and relax into being who we truly are.
How does such caring show up in family dynamics? When I’m feeling grumpy or irritable, I know that my inner cup is empty and I’m out of sync with my needs. When we practice self-care, we are more present with our partner and children. We feel more generous, loving and playful, and it’s easier to weather crises and uncertainties. I believe that modeling self-love is one of the best ways to influence children’s self-esteem.
Why is it important for families to define what they value most? It’s empowering for a family to anchor together around one key core value. Once you identify it, you all can make more conscious decisions. The value that my own family has chosen is compassion for one’s self and others. Creativity, spirituality, service or learning are others.As kids grow into adolescence, it becomes more challenging to maintain balance; there are so many demands on a family’s time and attention. Mentally, we’re often overwhelmed by an expanding scope of activities and decisions. At any age, a lot of us are just reacting to whatever comes at us. But when we identify the values most important to us, it’s easier to know when to say yes and no to things, so that our actions become aligned with our priorities.
What is behind the rising appeal of living more simply? Simplicity is alluring at a most basic level of our being; we crave it. We want to invest less energy in making decisions and have more space for life to organically unfold. We want to hit the pause button because we are overscheduled, overworked and overloaded with too much information. It can feel so good to be productive, and American culture rewards output. But we need to be mindful of balancing the harder task of ‘being’ with the seduction of doing, for we are at our most powerful when both of these energies are equal.
“Mom, tell them to surprise their kids—listen to them, have fun with them and just spend time with them.”Where do we start? If we are not currently living in alignment with what matters most to us, we can stop what we’re doing and course-correct. We have to define what simplicity looks like for us and can start by just slowing down. Do less to experience more. Unplug from technology. Try spending unscheduled, media-free time together. My family feels most nourished after weekends that we hardly did anything and just enjoyed connecting through simple pleasures.
~ Jonah Trudeau, age 9
What role does spirituality play in fostering a healthy family life? I hear a lot of parents say that they used to think that spirituality was separate from parenting. Then they woke up to the idea that being a parent is a spiritual practice, maybe the most profound one they will ever have. Connecting to the sacred in everyday life yields nurturing gifts we can enjoy with our children, not separate from them.
What is the most valuable advice that you offer to parents? Pause to breathe in compassion and realize that our outer state is a reflection of our inner state. It helps us release whatever we’re dealing with and reconnect with ourselves and loved ones.
For more information, visit ReneeTrudeau.com.
Five Reconnection Points
- Be mindful of how and when the family uses technology. Put people first.
- Tap the healing power of nature together. Take hikes, picnics and explore a local greenbelt.
- Love the ones you’re with. Schedule regular time together to make sure it happens.
- Define your family’s values and honor them.
- Slow down. Do less to experience more. Fewer choices and a lighter schedule can make for a happier family.
Read More: Small Daily Practices Make a Huge Difference