Publisher’s Letter

Today, communication is on my mind and how much we take for granted that people are hearing exactly what we are saying.

When we are trying to make a point, debate a topic or express a personal view, how well we communicate rests on understanding what will interfere or help set up success. Internal and external factors can affect the conversation positively and/or negatively. Simple phrasing can undermine what we assume is crystal-clear messaging. 

Experience is teaching me how to use words that disarm rather than increase tension. These techniques aren’t just to help other people open up to listen, to understand, and to hear. The process also helps me to do the same. Whether I am speaking with family, clarifying business issues, dealing with employees, delivering a speech, asking for a request—no matter who I am striving to communicate with—there are many factors that go into delivering and receiving messages so that neither side is distorted. 

Taking time to think about what I want to say before I say it helps. The environment also matters. Tone matters. My choice of words matters. When I use words that are defensive or suggest blame, misunderstanding and tension will escalate. Voices get louder, the mood will shift, and it will be much harder to reach some kind of mutual understanding.  

“What is said is not always what is heard.”  

Listening skills are crucial. Active listening is an act of attention, focus, getting outside our inner thinking to paying attention as we should. It is not easy. Bad habits interfere constantly. We speak over each other, we over talk, we interrupt. Is it any wonder how or why we get things wrong?  

It is wise to remember that communication is an art—and good art requires patience. For me, it takes laser focus to remind myself to think before I speak, to slow down to acknowledge that I owe you the respect of listening. And, if asked to listen or participate, sometimes just listening is enough. 

As I write, these thoughts come to mind: “texting is not talking” and “listening is not necessarily hearing”. And what goes on between our ears is where paying attention really matters.

Hopefully, you heard my meaning, and I hope I was clear.

With peace, love and laughter,

Joe & Asta Dunne, Publishers