Intergenerational Living: A Healing Model for Families and Communities

Doctor of Natural Medicine Sofia Chavez, a curandera, or traditional healer, reflects on her vibrant upbringing in New Mexico. “I grew up with Native American, Latinx, Mexica, Navajo, and Apache family—the blended people and traditions of New Mexico,” she recalls. “I spent a lot of time with my great-grandparents. The tradition was to let your hair grow long, and I remember how my great-grandfather would sit on the front porch with me and braid my hair.” This early immersion in family, ceremony and the rhythms of the land shaped Chavez’s lifelong path of healing.

After moving across the country and starting her own family, Chavez returned to visit her mother’s New Mexico ranch with a 5-year-old daughter. The visit was joyful, but Chavez was struck by the fact that her daughter barely knew her grandmother, seeing her as a kind stranger rather than a close relation. “My children didn’t experience grandparents the way I did, didn’t know them as I did, and this is how language, culture and ceremony become lost,” she laments. The daily sharing of customs and storytelling that Chavez valued so highly growing up with her grandparents was possible only because of their proximity.

Today, her daughter is all grown up and has children of her own. To preserve the family heritage, Chavez once again lives in a mixed-generation home, allowing her to share important values and traditions with her grandchildren. This is reflective of a larger trend as multigenerational households are on the rise again after having declined in the mid-20th century.

 

Adapting to Shifting Trends

Ginger Raya, Ed.D., a healthcare executive, educator, speaker and executive coach in El Paso, Texas, views intergenerational living as a response to systemic strain and a necessity for mutual care. “The benefit is that you have more support—someone who can help you out,” she explains. “If your child is sick, someone can call and advocate for you. Someone can take your parent to an appointment. In this economy, living together is going to make more and more sense.”

Chavez points out, “During the 1950s through the 1990s, there was such an emphasis on doing things on your own, driven by prosperity. In that independence, we forgot that we need each other. Now the cycle continues, and our world is flowing into different times. We’re remembering that we need one another.” Within her cultural beliefs, which view the world as inherently cyclical and relational, this shift is part of a larger pattern. “We’re living in these cycles of life,” Chavez says. “If we’re going to reclaim our joy and optimism, we have to move forward with it together.”

Raya acknowledges that while families are remembering the value of connection, they are also confronting long-held cultural stigmas. “We carry unnecessary shame about aging and dependence,” Raya says, adding that increasing dependence with age is a natural part of life. “Why not embrace intergenerational living?”

 

Leading a Richer Life

Chavez passes down her way of life through small moments, as her great-grandparents did. “I take my grandchild outside so she can hear me as I do my sun salutations,” she says. “We go to the trees so she can touch the leaves and the bark. My hope is that by being present with me—hearing our prayers and gratitude for food, for nature, for connection—she’ll absorb it. By watching me simply being myself, talking to the earth and the plants, I hope her life will be richer, more vibrant.”

Shared living isn’t all harmony. “Sometimes we need our personal, private cave time,” says Chavez, noting that sacred moments of stillness and connection to both nature and spirit are essential for maintaining our equanimity. By honoring this recharge time in ourselves and others, we create the conditions for greater harmony within the household.

At the same time, balance and flexibility are also important; Chavez may miss a morning ritual or two if her grandchild is sick or her daughter needs her. It is a reminder that honoring both structure and spontaneity allows intergenerational life to flow more naturally.

 

Listening Deeply

“When we live together, there are simply more possibilities to talk, to listen, to grow and to connect. By being in environments of togetherness more often, you have more chances to really learn how to listen—far more than when you see each other only a few times a year,” says Chavez.

Interpersonal disagreements or “growing pains” can be navigated with a facilitator. In her culture, pláticas—heartfelt, empathetic conversations—are treasured and integral to ceremonies, including the sacred sweat lodge, where a medicine person facilitates emotional and relational healing through an environment of warmth and song. In other communities, therapy together can help ease tensions and build bridges.

Intergenerational living presents challenges but also offers connection, learning and wisdom across generations. For Chavez, “Traditions are a beautiful way to share our love.”

 

Hannah Tytus is an integrative health coach, researcher and content creator at KnoWEwell, P.B.C., and former writer at the National Institutes of Health.

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